A Stone's Throw Away
Intolerance, Pre-judgment, Racism - I profess to hate such attitudes, yet I practice them all in one form or another on a daily basis. I watch the viewers exiting a movie and automatically begin assessing their state of dress, wondering at what point they looked into the mirror before leaving their homes and said "that's perfect - just the way I wanted to look tonight!" I look at a man's scuffed shoes and decide that he basically has no pride in himself. I walk in someone's house for the first time and after perusing the premises, size up the person's taste level. If I hear a person mispronounce a common word such as "herb" sounding like "Herb" instead of "erb" or "theater" pronounced as "the-a'-ter" instead of " thea-ter," I automatically assume they are uneducated. And, of course, "Where's it at?" is always the most telltale indicator
of basic ignorance of the English language. If another Japanese citizen bumps into me while rushing to get ahead in a museum while not offering so much as an "excuse me," I will immediately lump him into a group of uprooted Asians who because of the density of their living circumstances have absolutely no sense of manners -- in fact, I unconsciously decide that all Japanese are that way.
Now, aren't I special? Aren't I arrogant? and Aren't I a hypocrite? Twenty years ago while sitting in a psychologists's office reciting my many whines the psychologist finally responded by asking me, "What makes you think you are so God damn special?" The fact is, who do I think I am to cast such stones about others, even if it is only in my head? Why do I react to others the moment I meet them from a position of judgment? I suppose instinctively I must do it because the pay-off is that it must make me feel more important than others -- for a moment, that is. So how am I any different than the racists and right wing extremists I criticize?
You know, a whine is fine, as long as it is not always about what other people are doing and also includes what you are doing unconstructively in life. I just saw a very good movie the other day called "Towel Head." I won't give away the plot, but I will impart the underlying message -- three very different neighbors who had pre-judged each other the moment they met in the most unsavory ways ended up being completely dependent upon one another. When that happened, none of the intolerance, judgments, or racism made a bit of difference about the quality of the generous care they derived from each other. I wish I could remember this and consider it each moment before judging another. Maybe this year I shall do better. I know I can.
of basic ignorance of the English language. If another Japanese citizen bumps into me while rushing to get ahead in a museum while not offering so much as an "excuse me," I will immediately lump him into a group of uprooted Asians who because of the density of their living circumstances have absolutely no sense of manners -- in fact, I unconsciously decide that all Japanese are that way.
Now, aren't I special? Aren't I arrogant? and Aren't I a hypocrite? Twenty years ago while sitting in a psychologists's office reciting my many whines the psychologist finally responded by asking me, "What makes you think you are so God damn special?" The fact is, who do I think I am to cast such stones about others, even if it is only in my head? Why do I react to others the moment I meet them from a position of judgment? I suppose instinctively I must do it because the pay-off is that it must make me feel more important than others -- for a moment, that is. So how am I any different than the racists and right wing extremists I criticize?
You know, a whine is fine, as long as it is not always about what other people are doing and also includes what you are doing unconstructively in life. I just saw a very good movie the other day called "Towel Head." I won't give away the plot, but I will impart the underlying message -- three very different neighbors who had pre-judged each other the moment they met in the most unsavory ways ended up being completely dependent upon one another. When that happened, none of the intolerance, judgments, or racism made a bit of difference about the quality of the generous care they derived from each other. I wish I could remember this and consider it each moment before judging another. Maybe this year I shall do better. I know I can.
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