The Good Parent
Recently I was speaking to a young boy/man, age 14, in regard to his sense of "entitlement." I wanted to know why he thought he deserved to have an UnderArmour sports shirt without having completed his school work, performed any chores at home, or contributed anything toward the cost of the shirt or the betterment of the family. His answer was, "that is what any good parent does." Mentally, I immediately asked myself the rhetorical question, so 'why is a boy who is not being a ''good son" entitled to always having a parent be "a good parent?" And, I see this same situation at every echelon of society. Although someone else had bought the cereal and the milk, provided the spoon and the bowl, the table and chairs, and the roof over his head, he felt entitled to someone else picking up that empty bowl and washing it for him after they came home from working all day.
So what is at the root of this problem? Is it the parents who are enabling this sense of entitlement, who are doing everything and more for their children today? Is it a lack of self discipline? Is it a failure to have any sense of a work ethic? These same teens and children will give their all to succeed in soccer and never give up while playing a video game; they practice for hours in an attempt to get better and better at doing something they 'like.' But when asked to work at something they 'do not like doing,' they balk at such unreasonable demands. When and why did our kids start believing people are never suppose to do anything in life that they "don't like doing?" I always clearly understood that about 75% of my time would be spent doing things I didn't particularly like or enjoy, and only 25% would be to my liking.
Today's kids seem to think they are deserving of rewards without having to earn them. Regardless of social status, the attitude seems ubiquitous. There is little recognition that the funds it takes to purchase said rewards, were earned by another's hard work and effort. Whether or not the parents work two jobs each, scraping by for the sake of their families, or the parents are self made millionaires working their way to the top, most of the children tend to feel entitled to everything without having to do anything. There is a 'n'er do well' generation that is developing right in front of our parents' "let's give our kids everything" attitudes. It is called laziness -- the kids want everything they see on television and in movies, but they don't want to put in the hard effort it takes to support themselves in the manner they believe they deserve.
And when I have spoken to parents about this trend, their answer is that they do not want to say "no" to their children. The parents seem to feel an irrational pressure that their children should have everything that the other kids at school have. They fear their children will be bullied or ostracized if they are not wearing a certain brand of shirt, or have lower self esteem if they don't have the right kind of shoes. Sadly, there seems to be some shame attached to having to say to your kids, "we can't afford this or that within our budget." So, I can only wonder what message this is instilling in these kids. I didn't even come from such a family, but it has still taken years for me to realize that I am not entitled to anything in life and that everything I ever got from my parents was simply a gift. Actually, I think the greatest gift I got from my parents was instilling in me a good work ethic. Unfortunately, I don't think most of today's kids even know what "work ethic" means!
So what is at the root of this problem? Is it the parents who are enabling this sense of entitlement, who are doing everything and more for their children today? Is it a lack of self discipline? Is it a failure to have any sense of a work ethic? These same teens and children will give their all to succeed in soccer and never give up while playing a video game; they practice for hours in an attempt to get better and better at doing something they 'like.' But when asked to work at something they 'do not like doing,' they balk at such unreasonable demands. When and why did our kids start believing people are never suppose to do anything in life that they "don't like doing?" I always clearly understood that about 75% of my time would be spent doing things I didn't particularly like or enjoy, and only 25% would be to my liking.
Today's kids seem to think they are deserving of rewards without having to earn them. Regardless of social status, the attitude seems ubiquitous. There is little recognition that the funds it takes to purchase said rewards, were earned by another's hard work and effort. Whether or not the parents work two jobs each, scraping by for the sake of their families, or the parents are self made millionaires working their way to the top, most of the children tend to feel entitled to everything without having to do anything. There is a 'n'er do well' generation that is developing right in front of our parents' "let's give our kids everything" attitudes. It is called laziness -- the kids want everything they see on television and in movies, but they don't want to put in the hard effort it takes to support themselves in the manner they believe they deserve.
And when I have spoken to parents about this trend, their answer is that they do not want to say "no" to their children. The parents seem to feel an irrational pressure that their children should have everything that the other kids at school have. They fear their children will be bullied or ostracized if they are not wearing a certain brand of shirt, or have lower self esteem if they don't have the right kind of shoes. Sadly, there seems to be some shame attached to having to say to your kids, "we can't afford this or that within our budget." So, I can only wonder what message this is instilling in these kids. I didn't even come from such a family, but it has still taken years for me to realize that I am not entitled to anything in life and that everything I ever got from my parents was simply a gift. Actually, I think the greatest gift I got from my parents was instilling in me a good work ethic. Unfortunately, I don't think most of today's kids even know what "work ethic" means!
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