CIVILITY IS DEAD !
“Uncivil disobedience” to social conventions – my description of the airplane assault by a group of young women who were insulted after being requested to turn down their boom box by a group of older women across the aisle. The same applies to the older man who ‘sucker punched’ a protestor who was being escorted out of a Trump rally, after Trump riled the audience with his own invectives. My mind travels to scenes at Rome’s Coliseum, where thousands of unemployed Roman citizens channeled their frustrations into melees, after gorging on gladiators’ battles. While the United States is supposedly changing, and becoming more global and diverse in this new century, the country appears to be more intolerant than ever. Everyone is on edge, as if some ephemeral right might be taken away by the slightest provocation.
Should we as a nation have any expectation of conformity by others to customary behaviors and societal norms? Should we expect judgment and impulse control in ordinary public interactions? Is there a common concept of ‘civility’ any longer? There was a time when after encountering a perceived verbal insult, most people would choose to simply walk away and whisper their desire to punch the perpetrator in the face to their friends. Today, any emotional reaction to a negative stimulus results in an acting out of aggressive urges in the form of verbal and physical assaults or shootings in retaliation. When did we ever have so many airplanes diverted because of passengers’ unruly behaviors? When were there 100 gun murders in the first two months of the year in Chicago’s history? When has there been so much road rage? When did people begin to take it so personally, that someone else had a differing opinion? Why do we now have so many random mass shootings?
I do not believe that these perpetrators are clinically mentally ill. If so, then will all those who ingest a daily dose of anti-depressants be labeled accordingly? I hope not. I do think there is a lack of emotional maturation stemming partially from an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex, resulting in aggressive reactivity. The prefrontal cortex (PFC) is the center for socially acceptable behavior, judgment, impulse control, and foresight of the consequences of one’s actions. The PFC is the last area of the brain to mature, often not until a person reaches their mid-twenties. Thus, adolescence continues into early adulthood. Previously abused and neglected children have been found to have 20% smaller prefrontal cortices, which often never fully develop. Nutrition, experience, environment, and parenting can affect neuro-maturational processes of the prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex of the brain is at the heart of making logical choices, suppressing urges, and regulating one’s emotions. A lack of self-control and coping skills manifests in real-world impulsive, destructive behavior.
There is good news and bad news. Those with Intermittent Explosive Disorder (aggressive outbursts resulting in physical assaults on others) and Impulse Control Disorders (unable to resist an urge or strong desire) are hard wired and difficult to change. Rapid, unplanned reactions and a lack of concern for consequences due to underlying anger and denial will continue to fuel these disorders. On the other hand, it has been found that those exhibiting extreme impulsivity can be trained to suppress their aggressive reactions to emotional stimuli and can learn to reappraise a situation in order to reduce their emotional reaction. Many perpetrators grew up in homes where they were constantly stimulated, resulting in higher cortisol levels. Such constant arousal leads to aggression. Mindfulness meditation and practiced time-outs can interrupt this onslaught of cortisol. However, if people continue to justify their ‘right’ to act out on every urge and emotion with no concern for others or consequences, then the world will become even more unpredictable. We are talking about emotional maturity; something that appears to be missing in the mainstream today.
Should we as a nation have any expectation of conformity by others to customary behaviors and societal norms? Should we expect judgment and impulse control in ordinary public interactions? Is there a common concept of ‘civility’ any longer? There was a time when after encountering a perceived verbal insult, most people would choose to simply walk away and whisper their desire to punch the perpetrator in the face to their friends. Today, any emotional reaction to a negative stimulus results in an acting out of aggressive urges in the form of verbal and physical assaults or shootings in retaliation. When did we ever have so many airplanes diverted because of passengers’ unruly behaviors? When were there 100 gun murders in the first two months of the year in Chicago’s history? When has there been so much road rage? When did people begin to take it so personally, that someone else had a differing opinion? Why do we now have so many random mass shootings?
I do not believe that these perpetrators are clinically mentally ill. If so, then will all those who ingest a daily dose of anti-depressants be labeled accordingly? I hope not. I do think there is a lack of emotional maturation stemming partially from an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex, resulting in aggressive reactivity. The prefrontal cortex (PFC) is the center for socially acceptable behavior, judgment, impulse control, and foresight of the consequences of one’s actions. The PFC is the last area of the brain to mature, often not until a person reaches their mid-twenties. Thus, adolescence continues into early adulthood. Previously abused and neglected children have been found to have 20% smaller prefrontal cortices, which often never fully develop. Nutrition, experience, environment, and parenting can affect neuro-maturational processes of the prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex of the brain is at the heart of making logical choices, suppressing urges, and regulating one’s emotions. A lack of self-control and coping skills manifests in real-world impulsive, destructive behavior.
There is good news and bad news. Those with Intermittent Explosive Disorder (aggressive outbursts resulting in physical assaults on others) and Impulse Control Disorders (unable to resist an urge or strong desire) are hard wired and difficult to change. Rapid, unplanned reactions and a lack of concern for consequences due to underlying anger and denial will continue to fuel these disorders. On the other hand, it has been found that those exhibiting extreme impulsivity can be trained to suppress their aggressive reactions to emotional stimuli and can learn to reappraise a situation in order to reduce their emotional reaction. Many perpetrators grew up in homes where they were constantly stimulated, resulting in higher cortisol levels. Such constant arousal leads to aggression. Mindfulness meditation and practiced time-outs can interrupt this onslaught of cortisol. However, if people continue to justify their ‘right’ to act out on every urge and emotion with no concern for others or consequences, then the world will become even more unpredictable. We are talking about emotional maturity; something that appears to be missing in the mainstream today.
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