IS ADULT CYBER BULLYING THE NEW AMERICAN PASTIME ?

I have not written since the election. Not so much for political reasons, but out of fear. The contentious political season exposed a new reality of assaultive hate speech hurled against any unwelcomed opinions. Words suggesting self-restraint such as ‘decorum,’ ‘discretion,’ ‘circumspection,’ ‘tact,’ ‘temperance,’ ‘moderation,’ ‘manners,’ and even ‘politeness’ have become out dated constructs in today’s world. A uniformly adopted understanding has emerged on the internet allowing every individual free rein to attack other users with no consequences. Such behavior would never be allowed in a classroom; not be allowed face to face in an office; nor be included in normal person to person social interactions; but for some reason is given a pass on social media. The understanding seems to be that on the internet our behavior doesn’t really count and is not a reflection of our real selves. The forum itself seems to have no accepted rules or standards, therefore, the users do not have to utilize any normal social constraints.

Hiding behind the illusion of anonymity, comments from usually principled participants have reached an all-time low. The same internet Posters, who quote Bible verses on how to treat one another and reference good values, suddenly expose their most base, suppressed selves on the internet. It is like the lovely, middle class woman I saw on TV today who witnessed a man throwing out money he had stolen from a bank to everyone around her, and she instantly felt absolved of any accountability in grabbing some of the airborne bills for herself. If everyone else is doing it and you can’t get caught, why not? Mass hysteria is contagious. But I am most concerned by the degree of hate, intolerance, ill will, and mean-spiritedness residing inside of seemingly good people that erupts when faced with opposing ideas. What is so threatening about another person having different ideas or beliefs than ours?

Many justify their behavior as merely exercising their right to free speech and accuse others of being thin skinned. Freedom of speech, however, respects the premise of each person being allowed to express his ideas without fearing a barrage of hate filled reprisals. Hate the ideas, but don’t hate the person for expressing them. Personal attacks against another are not the equivalent of personal responses of one’s opposition opinions on a topic. The underlying idea behind freedom of speech was to allow a marketplace of ideas to flow freely, which would be naturally guided foremost by rationality and reason. In the recent past, there was an implicit understanding between people in polite society that verbal assault and name calling were unacceptable behaviors under any circumstances. Words are assaultive, which is why we already have slander and libel laws and obscene speech restrictions in this country. Why do so many people have the need to verbally attack others for their differing beliefs?

The last issue is one of impulse control. As parents we spend years training our kids to develop self-control, to delay immediate self-gratification, and to exercise good judgment during interactions with others. Yet, today’s adults seem to believe the internet gives them permission to forego any self-control and utilize the internet for pent-up emotional release. Most would be horrified if any child of theirs looked into the face of an obese teacher and said, “You are so fat, you are disgusting!” But, no one reacts to adults’ internet invectives and streaming twitter insults. Disturbingly, we are becoming desensitized to such personal attacks, as if the internet is somehow an impersonal medium where it doesn’t matter. How can our society credibly attempt to prevent student bullying at school and on the internet, while we continue to accept cyber bullying between adults as the new American pastime?